If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground
It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship
